Maybe,

Maybe,
Next time the chaos will
leave you
in a place where
you belong.

Maybe,
Someday
the silence
will bleed through
wounded grace
where
you feel loved.

Maybe,
Somehow
their sorrow
shall seep to
broken dreams
and restful homes.

Maybe,
someway
this hollow
will fill you
til beyond
is well behind you.

Maybe,
they say
in prayers
for those thens when
faith still
believed.

Maybe,
we pray
in hope
of words
worth far too much
to know.

Maybe,

sleep dreams
everything shall change
all i ask
is that you remain calm

-Deus fortuno

fear

there was no time
-you taught me terror
to grieve
-i learned
to breath
-between suns of fear
or feel the need to be
-beneath a frigid moon
anything
-repressed, i slept
less
-in and out of this reality
than this shell i
-kept
concealed
-from them, the chaos of theirs
unhealed
-waiting for help
helpless to come
-on those stairs
weeping
-while,
as you slept
-there i sat
hours away;
-learning
of terror over time
-with no alibi why
thanks anyway...

~Deus fortuno

amor

good eve
to thee
some sweet
gone bye
song
so sudden did
startle this wound
awake

please forgive
my passive stance
to tell
of my
disappearance from
mists of memories
drenched in sweat
and fury far from faded

there was a this
and this knew that
its time had come at last;
thus this sat,
not knowing still
how still can be so patient
nor where to set
its final breath
free from fear
and failure

amor now lost
was held by nights
when dreams
would sing
pleasantries
while slowly drifting by;
now rings a voice
in muzzled tones
and gentle disposition
apologizing for all
gone lost
that eve you said
adieu

i miss you this
and every eve
though you
sing so often now
yet only when
i dare not listen;
sleep well
all now gone away
may life be better
than together, we deserve.

~Deus fortuno

l i m b o

Why are you patience
please talk to me
still here, am I
in limbo
learning
as quickly as my mind
can understand my bodies
release
what am I to learn?
What are you to teach?

What if there are no answers?
If it, this place,
kills me

silence
will remember
my questions until
they forget
the reasons why
their curiosity forced
air from lungs
too ruptured to tell.

I don't recall
why snow falls
on days when it was
meant to rain.
why panic
smiles so cynically
on faces in
visible pain.

Intensely the tremors
spread
shaking
the air
from its vacuous throne

of course it matters
it always does
except for moments like these
in places not unlike this
where truth loses
the when and why
and doubt fills this abyss.

a wake

i dreamt last night
a nightmare
real and living
filled by walls
and ceiling shaped
memories
with people
barely breathing.

familiar these relics
pass
in screams and pleads
and dying grasps
of realities
much afraid
to lose a sense
already lost.
with nothing lucid
about this place
but a final longing
to escape.

led through halls
clawed hollow fallen
in love
with lies
behind a moon
who-
pretending time away
ignites a sky
in starry
hostile
bitter
cries

just say it
cope
accept the fact
that this is no release
if in dreams death comes
where goes the soul
to rest or sleep with ease?

perhaps solace
is the myth
we tell those
still
too young to fall;
in painted dreams
within these walls
called safe
or not at all.

remember that castle,
made of sand
it is whatever exists;
waiting;
buried
lives
a nightmare

who knows so little of sleep...

~Deus fortuno

what wisdom

Teach me,
a learning mess
the vessel
now and changing;
always
goes
the wand'ring soul
until we go
til nevermore
a masterpiece
in the making.

~Deus fortuno

Deus ex perditus

Dear pain, good night;
good evening apathy,
welcome home.

~Deus fortuno

why.

be.
here.

gone,
if you
take
my
breath
it
is

noise,
for
each
excuse
an
alibi lives
in foolproof
lives

please,
survive
so
why
and
why not
may cease
this childish
folly while

humility,
raped
of
pride
died
in
piece
of mind

~Deus fortuno

now live

wake
shudder
the
feel
of boiling
sheets
too cold
to sweat

rest
breathe
something
new
other than
fear;
irrational
as that sound
resounds
between each lung
holding a hearts
murmur

still
can't shake
this
trembled
sensation,
no matter,
what just happened
this room
refuses
to let go;
internal bleeding
holds nothing
to moments
betwixt
the river
and mortal
existence

what bed awaits
the fear of fallen
fates;
dear angel
pray
as ye yet may...

~Deus fortuno

just love

What is
that place
where time
and space
made
humans face
irrational
fears
and
clouded tears
form rain

Where is
solace
this gift
from pride
to humbly
forsake
those every
moment
like it or nots
learning
to cope
while
hoping
to learn
of things
before their
time

When
is enough
the word
absurd as
their dancing
may seem
to say
the beats
between
a melody
pitched
away

Why was
this
the all
that every
other curiosity
questioned
yet fate sat
silently to obey

Please breath
the more of life
no more
shall not
doubt them
if they
defy themselves
before leaves leave them
this way

too soon
the sun
shall sleep
nights to dream
of waking
but once more
when then was
not just a memory

Be still,
be loved
just be...

~Deus fortuno

Why not...

everything
and
nothing-
held
by words
painting
deeds
picturing
people
and
things
invaluably,

perishable
thoughts
muzzle
half-hearted
almost-perfect
slurs,
queued
through
moments
when silence
was
the only
decent
end,

there it is,
or was;
or was it...
is this
that feeling
they warned
us of
yet never
told;
the truth
behind
the vale,

hints-
of love
abandon
for any
weary enough
to claim
themselves
this prize of
atrophy,

why not...
catch on,
listen
while blood
and smiles
reconcile
between syllabled
punctuation,
feelings
wean themselves
from thought,
thinking only
hurts when it breaths
and being
became
the nothing
everything
never
fathomed
to be,

~Deus fortuno

so it is

Pain
when does this madness
trickle away
life
like dews
the dawn cried to
dusk

Billows
the grains
and wanes
the owls
eye closed
one
last-
willow away
from comfort

Danger;
was safe
once,
promise.

Icarus
was only
trying
to please
that little
pleasure
poseidon thought
success
wished
or ought
to be

Underestimated,
undermined
uninvited
emotion

How
mortal
death
is

Vicious
cycles
render helpless
rinse, repeat;
finally,
a repose
worth falling for;
tar and feather
the sheepish wolf
they'll never know
the difference

Heaven
was
everything
Hell
threw away

Was this
it;
what waiting
waited so
desperately
for;
what does
worth
have something
anything
to do with this,
now,
let it be

~Deus fortuno

purgare

Maybe
eternity is
best lived asleep,
or memories
their life
outlived to
perish

Never
was then
about the angels
of heavens lust
or demons
through zeal
untame
but matters
of them
between death
and death
the same

Leave
water away
from blood-stained
grip
in moon
shown seal
and stain;
loss is safe
in secret
though
deep truths
reflect
Dear Hollow Night,
Take not
my friend,
yet in return,
my soul
thy snare,
do wed;

just breath..
it is what it is

My tries of Ash
no fire forgave
maybe, if
fate shall twist
mercy
Breath,
almost natural
almost dangerous

Everything
and nothing
its only,
what it is
I can take it
whats the worst
that can
happen
The need
to find
another
need grows
colder
in desires wake
to find
the pleasure
within pain
and want
the needs
desire

What
could words say
to fool
a fool;
Go,
disappeared,
why not
Be responsible
Do as ye must.
No promises,
none after.

hope
and sweet
love
whisper
but thy
swan song
only once;
madness waits
for none
yet welcomes all
The mourning
spills hope
eclipsed
into deepest dark;
Unwell, unwell
indifference brings
before the tollsome
bell
fate, bittersweet, judge
no rest
the wicked befell.

~Deus fortuno

godspeed

violence,
in sky
awake
by heartbeat
of sod
trembling to
sleep;
what solace
awaits their
nightmares
too patient
to listen,
too loving
to care
where or why
it happened

breaks,
the ground
feels
cold
despite
constant pressure
to live
by them above
its infinite
grave

them,
who know
pain
knew its roots
rain deep
ever adoring
its sharp-
subtle alarm
forsaking
their solace
of sleep

who,
or what
existentially
equal
with why
these pitiful
trees
host funerals
for leaves
that die
with seasons
too young
to notice
the shrill
impatient,
deceitful
days
sear nights
requited
rest

breath,
peace
asthma only
holds
to breathless
hopes of life

its only pain
~Deus fortuno